Well mamas... it looks like its the end of the breastfeeding road for me! So when I last blogged about feeding, I shared how I had been struggling with my milk supply and that I had seemed to temporarily fixed it by eating more carbs! (CLICK HERE TO READ). However, this solution didn't last long...
Eating more carbohydrates seemed to initially give my breast milk supply a boost but within a week I seemed to be struggling again, and my combination feeding soon turned into 50% breast and 50% formula. Maddison seemed happy with this, in all honesty I don't think she really cared where her milk was coming from or what it was, she guzzled it either way! By this point I really was completely lost and had no idea what was going on, so I went to speak to my doctor about it. I explained to my GP how I'd tried absolutely everything and anything to help my supply. I'd let her cluster feed and pumped after feeding to encourage supply, I'd tried eating more, drinking more water, more skin-to-skin, the retained placenta didn't seem to change much, I'd switch side to side.. the list goes on!! My GP was sooooo lovely and reassuring that I'd been doing everything right to try and help but for some reason she explained, some women just can't produce as much as others! She gave me these tablets (which are the only tablets recommended by midwives and health visitors) that might help give my supply a boost! I think I recall her saying they were actually anti-sickness tablets, but there was something in them that helped women's supply? And obviously safe for baby if you're breastfeeding! So I jumped at the chance of giving these a try! She prescribed me 2 weeks worth of these tablets and if they worked then great, and if they didn't.. then it looked like it was the end of the breastfeeding journey for me. These weren't a long term solution, I couldn't keep taking them forever! But if they were to give me a boost then I thought it was worth a shot! Literally within 3 days of taking these tablets I was a milk machine!! I seriously thought I could give a cow a run for its money haha! I'd gone from barely being able to pump 20mls from both boobs, to being able to pump a full 125ml bottle from EACH boob?! whhaaatttt?! I was having let down again, had the feeling of being "full", Maddie was in a milky heaven I swear haha!! It was the BEST feeling ever having milk again. However... I finished my 2 weeks course of these tablets, and I think it was literally within 24 hours, I was going backwards to what it was like before... boobs never filling, pumping barely anything, and I had to bring back the formula again.. WTF?! Unfortunately for me.. yes the tablets did give me a boost, but it wasn't sustainable and hadn't encouraged my body to produce milk on it's own. I felt so deflated (literally!), and just cried. I had so desperately wanted to breastfeed Maddison till she was at least 6 months old. I have never had a problem with formula feeding, it's whatever works for you and your baby, everyone's journey is different! But I personally just loved the feeling and connection of breastfeeding! So I was a little gutted. But then something just clicked.. and you know what.. I had given my baby girl the best start I possibly could. Those first few months of her life when she was new to world and more vulnerable, I had provided her with the best possible source of milk I could. I should be proud that I managed to give her that! Yes, the journey stopped sooner than I had planned, but lets be honest.. with pregnancy and babies there is no such thing as planning!! Life will do what it wants, whether you like it or not! I wiped away my tears and thought, right, Maddison doesn't mind formula, she takes boob and bottle, so lets just go with it and transition fully to formula. It didn't take long, seeing as my milk had virtually disappeared anyway!! I was able to cut back to just one boobie feed in 24 hours, and I made this the nighttime feed or first feed of the morning (if Maddie slept all the way through the night). I found this was the best time to breastfeed as lets be honest.. if your baby wakes at 3am, it's a lot more effort to go downstairs and warm up a bottle than it is to just stick them on the boob! I did this for a good week, and have now stopped breastfeeding completely. I have now been exclusively formula feeding Maddison for 9 days and she seems really happy and content, and I'm a lot calmer and less stressed as I'm not constantly worrying about bloody milk!! I have got an appointment back at the doctors to report back how I'm doing, and I know my GP said she wanted to do some blood tests to check my thyroid as that can sometimes affect milk supply. But at this point, I'm happy that we have a healthy growing baby and I've discovered there are actually some good pros to formula feeding! These are just a few...
I think the message is at the end of the day, is you do what works for you and no-ones journey is the same! I am proud that I was able to breastfeed Maddison for at least the first 12 weeks of her life as I know some women don't have the option of breastfeeding at all! I am now really looking forward to weaning Maddison and can't wait to start that process at 6 months!! I know Josh is super keen too as he loves to cook and be in the kitchen! I hope that sharing my entire breastfeeding journey with you all helps any other mums that are worrying or stressing about their journey. Breastfeeding is amazing! But as I've discovered it never seems to be straight forward or as simple as I initially thought! Just remember mamas, don't compare yourself to anyone else, and all that matters is you do your best! Lots of love! x
10 Comments
Carly
8/10/2017 18:48:24
You did awesome mama and don’t ever forget that! Breast feeding is SO hard. Your little girl is happy and growing and that’s all that matters. I’m in the same boat here. I pump a few times a day and give formula the rest of the time. You are not alone :) and you are a wonderful mum! Xoxo
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Louise
8/10/2017 19:01:02
Thanks so much for this Bethany. I currently have a low supply, which doesn't surprise me because I have been so overwhelmed by motherhood. Unfortunately my baby doesn't sleep so well and I had to carry her all day every day, leaving me with no time to eat and let alone rest. I took her to the doctor last week and we realised that she wasn't gaining weight. I was told to supplement with formula. I cried soooooo much as I felt I had failed my baby. determined to get my supply up I stuffed my face with food and also took some fenugreek capsules. my supply is somewhat up and I hope to maintain it. I love breastfeeding my baby so much. But if it comes to the point where I have to give her formula, I will be OK with it thanks to your post 😊
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Viki
8/10/2017 20:01:47
I had the same problem! By week 8 my little boy wasn't happy, I wasn't happy and it was really putting a strain on me! I'd tried my hardest but when it got to the point when I was feeding every half hour to an hour I just couldn't physically keep up anymore! I just had to accept that I had a very hungry baby and not enough milk! We started transitioning him over to formula at week 9 and by week 12 he was fully formula fed! In that short space of time we noticed so much had changed! He slept through the night and in general he was more content! (4 hours between feeds was also God send!)
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Melanie
8/10/2017 22:43:26
Reading this has brought me so much comfort! I breast fed my son for the first 2 weeks of pregnancy but then had to change to formula as I wasn't producing enough and he (being 9lbs at birth) is a very hungry baby! I felt so defeated and like the worlds worst mum for losing that bonding time with him but after time Iv noticed he actually prefers formula as he gets to eat more! Dont panic your doing amazing with Maddison! :)
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Jessie
8/10/2017 23:35:09
Thanks for your honesty - I'm delivering via scheduled c-section in a week and a half, and hope to breastfeed...but hearing your journey and honesty about the emotions is really helpful. It's so good to remember that breastfeeding is not a binary experience: succeed or fail. You did awesomely, and if I can give my son half as good a start as you have Maddie, I will feel really good. :)
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Sophie
8/10/2017 23:56:42
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Giving up breastfeeding is the hardest thing. I've never had enough milk supply for my baby and have topped her up with bottles from day 1. Every week she was getting less and less interested in breastfeeding and her "top ups" gradually turned into the main meal. At 9 weeks my Dr told me to move on with my life and exclusively formula feed. It's been the hardest and saddest week but I'm slowly moving forward and trying to focus on my beautiful healthy baby girl who much prefers
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Claudia
9/10/2017 10:51:23
Thank you for posting about this :-) It's so useful to read other mum's experiences with breastfeeding. I'm still trying to breastfeed my 13 week old baby but I constantly worry about my supply and spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm eating/drinking. Sometimes I just feel empty and don't experience the let down sensation which panics me!! I introduced some formula before bed from early on and want to continue to do both but it's hard. There isn't enough written about this topic which is why I love following a honest blog like this!
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Deniz
9/10/2017 13:50:36
Really nice post, especially to know that I am not the only one struggling here.
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Amna
9/10/2017 18:19:36
I honestly love reading this cuz i stopped breast feeding around the same time and felt so bad cuz i knew i was supposed to breast feed for at least 6 months. But that frustrating period where u pump as much as u can and ur supply is still low is just so hard and honestly i was spending more time obsessing over my milk supply than spending time with my baby so I transitioned to formula and me and baby have been extremely happy ever since
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Lexis
25/10/2017 21:09:40
I'm a new young mom from Hawaii & have been following your IG account throughout your pregnancy til now. You really have worn pregnancy & motherhood with such style & grace. My daughter is 5 weeks old & mostly breastfeeding but I've always supplemented with formula because I've always came up just a little short on my milk supply. Everyday I worry how far I'll make it with breastfeeding so this blog was definitely meant for me to read. It's sad how much time us mommies spend stressing about being "sufficient enough" when all we should be concerned with is our babies well being. I appreciate your openness + realness. You are beautiful & so is your girl! Aloha from Hawaii :)
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