Well.. I'm still here, still pregnant. Currently 39 weeks and 5 days so my due date is literally around the corner!! BUT... I am slowly accepting the sad reality that I will probably go past my due date and look back waving it goodbye. Apparently it's only about 5% of women who actually give birth on their due date, with 60% of babies being born within a week either side of the estimated date of delivery, and more than 90% are born two weeks either side of the predicted date. Hmmmm... so the question of when baby girl might make an appearance, WHO THE HELL KNOWS?!
I will admit (and I'm going to sound so desperate right now...) but I've been dying to get this baby out these past few weeks. I have pretty much tried EVERYTHING possible to help get labour going. I've been walking, eating pineapple, eating dates, sex, spicy curries, raspberry leaf tea, nipple stimulation, acupuncture, bouncing on my Swiss ball... if it's out there, I've tried it. I never imagined in my life that I would be so excited to be in pain and feel twinges?! But I am!
I think the most frustrating part is knowing that my baby girl is all good to go (and has been for just over a week now), Both my midwife and GP have said she's fully engaged, my cervix is soft and "ripe" ready to dilate.. so why the bloody hell is she not here yet? What else could she be doing in there?! I then turn and get cross at myself and start blaming my body.. well if she is ready and in position, it must be me! Why isn't my body releasing Oxytocin or trying to contract?! I am a bit of a control freak and perfectionist, I think it's something that has been engraved in me from my years of fighting for perfection when I used to do ballet! So, I know this type of thinking is causing unnecessary stress and anxiety, when it's something that is actually completely out of my control! I can't dictate and 'perfect' when labour will happen or even how it'll happen!
Yesterday, I had my second session of acupuncture, which I had originally gone to desperately hoping in the back of my mind that it would bring on labour. But I actually found it so relaxing and interesting, I definitely wanted to go back again and would like to carry on with some sessions post-baby! She pretty much told me what I already knew (but probably just needed to hear it from a professional..) I just need to RELAX. I need to learn to let go, breathe and chill! All this unnecessary stress and overthinking about when my baby will come is definitely consuming my life. It's even disturbing my sleep, which I know I need now ready for when baby is here! I'm already going through nights of broken sleep from being uncomfortable and needing to pee every hour. So along with a brain that won't switch off, I waking up more tired than I was when I went to bed! I'm more than likely counteracting what my body is trying to do right now.. I need to find "my happy place".
It is hard. When I've waited for basically 40 weeks now, I just want to have our baby here! It's a cocktail of emotions.. excitement, frustration, exhaustion, nerves, anticipation, the list goes on! Relaxation..? Doesn't happen quite as easily! But knowing that "taking a chill pill" could be my answer to giving birth... yes, I will learn to let go! None of these desperate old wives tales or what to eat or drink seem to be working, so I need to let my happy hormones take over and just enjoy these last few days with Josh! (...God, its so much easier said than done!)
So... how to find my happy place? First off I'm trying to focus my mind on anything other than labour, getting lost in a good film or documentary, a bit of cheeky online shopping etc.. And if I do think of my baby, trying think of happy and positive thoughts of HOW amazing it will be getting to hold and kiss her, NOT trying to think of WHEN will she be here! Breathing techniques are really helping me relax too. As soon as I'm noticing I'm holding unnecessary tension in my muscles, I take a moment to chill on my bed or on the Swiss ball, and just feel all my muscles melting and releasing any tension away. I've also found that getting out and having some fresh air is really simple yet effective for me. I know if I'm cooped up for too long my head starts going round and round in circles and I feel trapped. So getting out for a walk, having that change of scenery and stretching my legs definitely boosts my mood!
I feel it's particularly hard for first time mums to try and relax, when we have no idea what a contraction, or waters breaking feels like? Any tiny little niggle or twinge can send your heart racing with excitement, adrenaline and questions!! Everyone I've spoken to says you'll know when it is a 'real' contraction, but that's still not 100% reassuring! The amount of false alarms we must end up going through! But also other signs are bodies are preparing for labour like loose bowels? Is it realllyyy a sign labour is on the way... or did I just overdo it on the hot curry last night?!
ANYWAY. No more speculations allowed for me. I need to stop putting pressure on myself and just trust my body will do what it is meant to do.. after all, I've got this far with no problems!! Let it release Oxytocin when it is ready, and baby will show her face when she is ready! Worst case scenario I will have to be induced, which I don't mind so much in all honesty, it's the waiting part that I'm not very good at! (If you hadn't guess already.. I'm very impatient!) So for these last few days.. you will find me trying to chill in "my happy place".
Any more ideas of how to relax or help your body go into labour I'd love to hear from you other mummies!! Thanks for reading and any comments either leave below or message me via the social page! x
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