It's official. I've gone mad. Well that's what it feels like anyway! I'd always heard that in the last few weeks of pregnancy, you can get really REALLY vivid dreams, and now I can say I've joined that club. It's those sort of dreams where you wake up, and genuinely have to lie in bed for around 10 minutes contemplating HOW was that just a dream because it felt so real and also WHAT on earth could've caused you to have such a dream?!
I think the best one (as in most ludicrous), dream I have had happen last week. SO... I was in hospital, and for whatever reason I was having to have an emergency c-section. For a start, my doctor was Pablo Escobar (WTF!) and my hospital bed was an ironing board... Dr Escobar then told me he had to operate quickly as the drugs numbing me would wear off and I would feel him operating! Which made me really upset as for some reason Josh hadn't yet arrived at the hospital. So despite wanting to wait for Josh, I let him begin operating and I dreamt I literally felt him cutting me open!! So gross! Then he not only pulled out a baby boy (when we are expecting a girl), but the baby was already around 6 months old and could sit up on his own, I just burst into tears thinking I missed out on having a newborn and just screamed “that's not my baby!!” Then I woke up...
Told you I've gone mad.
Another dream (which was slightly less unusual and complicated) that I had was that my waters had broken and that the bed was soaking wet! Again, woke up genuinely thinking it had been real!!
Last night, a seriously vivid dream.. I was in an airport waiting lounge (as you do), with my newborn baby, I couldn't see her face or anything though which I have heard some people can imagine! And I was breastfeeding. However, I was getting really upset and frustrated because she would only feed from my Left boob and not my Right.. which meant my Right boob was huge and plump – imagine “glamour model style fake boob”, while my Left boob looked like an unfortunate deflated, wrinkly, drained boob! Again I cried, and literally bolted up awake and just grabbed my boobs, desperate to check they were both still there and symmetrical!! (which obviously they were!)
Understandably, all these dreams are pregnancy/labour related, so it is relevant, and highlighting things that I'm probably nervous or unsure of deep down. But they do make you feel like you've gone loopy! Anyone else having or experienced weird dreams right at the end of their pregnancy?! The technical scientific stuff says, vivid dreams are because of the increase in hormone production, which increases your emotions, anxiety and the way your brain processes information, hence resulting in vivid dreams!
I've never been one to have lots of dreams normally. Well none that I can remember anyway. I'm one of those people that normally goes to sleep, then wakes up, nothing fancy or fun to recall. Right now, with interrupted sleep anyway from my continual need to go to the toilet and receiving brutal kicks in my ribs – thanks baby girl! I'm feeling pretty exhausted as it is, but then to be waking up emotionally drained from all these dreams.. it's starting to take its toll on me and I already feel constantly shattered.. and the babies not even here yet!!
It must be all the anxiety of the unknown being a first time mummy and having no idea what to expect. No matter how much research you do, there is know way of knowing what your waters breaking feels like till it happens and whether it'll be a 'gush' or 'trickle', what is a proper contraction? Was that just a Braxton Hick, or do I just need a number 2!? For me personally as well, the lack of control creates the feeling of real helplessness. Other than the obvious red flags of not smoking or drinking etc. during pregnancy a lot of it is out of my control! I just have to trust my body, what will be will be, and she will make her entrance into the world HOWEVER and WHENEVER she is ready to! I can't force her into the perfect engaged position, I can't force her to arrive on a certain day, I can't control how fast she's growing or how big she'll end up being! I really have to force myself to sit back and just trust nature.. which is so hard for me being a bit of a control freak and perfectionist!!
A lot of these worries are clearly bringing themselves to attention in the form of dreams! I do feel a bit like a mad pregnant lady though, so here's hoping she will hurry up and relieve my brain of going round in circles!! Anyone found any good ways of relaxing and coping with their dreams? I'm going to try and meditate these last few days and see if that sends me off into a more relaxed sleep! As always, feeling free to comment below or contact me via the Social Page!
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